Reasons to be cheerful.

Lots really. Have decided to get over myself and just roll with it. No, actually, not 'roll with it' - rather, make a concerted effort to enjoy life and be grateful for the good.

To this end, I have made that gigantic and terrifying leap from SMOKER to NON SMOKER. We love this.

I definately have more energy, though I do feel dizzy a lot of the time too, and vague. Not eating a grotesque amount of food though, so this is good. Allan Carr is the man. Not sure if I believe everything he says but I just went with it.

I had a sort of ephinany last week during my lunch break. I was sitting on a bench outside Asda, smoking a fag (I know, classy) and I looked at myself and it wasn't pretty. This was not the way it was supposed to be - there was concrete, newspapers and rubbish flying about - there was a tree, a big one, a plane I think, but it had been butchered so it looked like an amputee victim - at it's base, some moron, presumably from the local council had concreted it in and I spent the whole time wondering how on earth this poor tree got anything to drink. Then I started thinking that I was like that tree. Rooted to the spot and suffocating myself. It wasn't a happy comparison.

So anyway, I did it. Just stopped the following day while reading the Allan Carr book. I know this is going to make me sound deluded, because it's only been a few days, but I feel younger, and more than that, I think I look healthier- my skin is brighter. I am happier, definately.

I felt that some sort of reward was in order so a pair of perfect silver earrings have been purchased in celebration and I'm wearing them every day. They were £20 and I know that I shouldn't have, but what the hell they made me really happy. They are divinely chunky little hoops, with a tiny fat heart hanging off them (I've made them sound horribly tacky - they are actually very sweet).

Going back to my list of things to make my life better too - I now have two bags of herb seeds. I haven't planted them yet, but I've looked at them a lot and thought about it. This is progress.

Life is moving forward. Baby steps. There's going to be some writing too. Book Three, Screenplay. It's going to happen. And soon.