Friday 12 February 2010

I'm thinking about clouds of the potential silver lining variety.

I've just had a wisdom tooth yanked out. It's right here on the table next to me, floating happily in a glass of bleach. I'm actually quite fascinated by it in a morbid and ghoulish way - not so much that I'll wear it on a chain around my neck, but even so. The dentist insisted I took it home with me to show the children, but I imagine they'll be horrified, it's way too reminiscent of those gory posters for SAW IV - and a piece of me, on exhibition - too wierd and self involved, I don't want to be like those people who fry up their placenta and have it with scrambled eggs.

My face is still half numb and I'm still biting on this big chunk of gauze he rammed into my mouth, which, according to my aftercare notes, needs to stay in until tonight. There's all manner of things I'm not allowed to do, even talking is restricted, however the final admonishment reads:

STRICTLY NO SMOKING FOR 24 HOURS

If I have to stop for 24 hours, then maybe I could just keep going and going. And I would be healthier, and have more money, and the facial ageing process would slow down to a normal rate, and all those happy thoughts and hopes.

The trouble is, I'm gagging for one already. All smokers know that any sort of unpleasant activity is always compensated with a cigarette and it's always really good. It's just the natural order of things. So now I'm grievously missing that one already. I feel robbed. Compensation number two is always a lovely cup of tea. I have one next to me but I can't drink it until it's practically cold and even then it has to be supped through a straw with my head tilted to one side. I feel like all life's pleasures have been unceremoniously ripped from me - forget the cloud/silver lining analogy, I'm not seeing it anymore. I'm going to bed.
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4 comments:

  1. Unknown13 February 2010 at 05:04

    Oh my God, poor you! If there's one thing I hate more than dentists, it's dentists doing extractions. I just can't bear the thought of it.

    I'm afraid I had to ignore the 'No Smoking' thing after my last extraction. I decided that, if I had the odd one, and didn't inhale too deeply, it wouldn't matter too much.

    Hope you're much, much better now - and smoking/drinking tea with real enthusiasm!

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  2. Lane Mathias13 February 2010 at 09:44

    Oh no. I couldn't see a silver lining either. That's really horrible. Bed was the only option.

    I remember trying to smoke with a numb face. Very dribbly indeed.

    Hope you're feeling way better today.

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  3. Now We Are Seven16 February 2010 at 02:43

    Shirley, I wanted to ignore it too, I can tell you - but the dentist made noises about septacemia and all manner of horrifying things so I thought I'd better do as I was told! Yes,thank you, definately enjoying tea again (wrestling with the fags - the fight goes on..)

    Lane, I have also tried to smoke with numb face and amid all the dribble and facial contortions, I really applied myself to the task. All I can say is there have definately been classier moments in my life - I'm sure in yours too!!

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  4. Chic Mama17 February 2010 at 12:14

    Ouch....I hope the pain has now subsided? Did you give in to the cigarettes?
    I am such a coward...I could do with a wisdom tooth being removed but I'm too scared! ;0S
    I have tagged you over at mine...if you fancy it then great if not don't worry. ;0)
    xx

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